I was sitting in class today and the professor was talking about suffering and giving different reasons for it. This caused me to think back in time to the cancer years of my life when I had tons of massive fevers, itching that had caused me to have hundreds of cuts up and down my legs/feet/body due to deep scratching, constant night sweats, and numerous other symptoms that probably most people would classify as suffering. I remember when all of that occurred though, and I started to get a taste for living in God's presence and seeking Him wholeheartedly that those around me commented on how I seemed so much more joyous and content with life as a tornado and God's presence on me rather than life as I wanted it and God at an arm's distance away - me controlling how much of Him I wanted in the relationship rather than clinging desperatly to Him.

As a result, I had this epiphany. True suffering was not having cancer - I was suffering more when I had life how I "wanted" it than I ever was by having cancer. True suffering should hopefully cause one to live saturated in the hope, strength, and Source such that they realize that true suffering has much less to do with circumstances and far more to do with lack of being consumed in God's presence, saturation in God's Word, and travailing in intercession.

"Suffering" is meant to cause people to see what true suffering really is - complacent, half-hearted Christianity or life without the Lord!