It doesn't work well to judge others for not having something that only came to you by grace!
It doesn't work well to be intimidated by something that God gave you authority over.
If you want to hear His voice it would only make sense to get in His presence...
To try to control things to avoid failure will still bring about some measure of failure - because the circumstance will never be what it could have been with living in trust of God.
To try to control things to avoid being hurt by others will still bring about some measure of hurt - because isolation can be a big hurt in and of itself.
To try to control things to get our needs perfectly met will invariably cause us to not get all of our needs met - as living in perpetual self -focus causes us to miss our need to love. Or we may constantly see what isn't and be robbed of joy.
As a side point, Cloud and Townsend in "How People Grow" mention how when we try to control things is when we are out of control and when we actually surrender to the Holy Spirit is when we have control... because self-control is His fruit... not mine.
Knowing who we are as sons and daughters of the King is vital instead of living as striving disconnected orphans. Then we work from trust and grace... not control and fear.